what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
