I will die if light touches me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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