someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
