we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this boner is exhausting
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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