This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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