That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
