Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
