yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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