If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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