So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
