Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
