kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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