hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
