Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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