Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
