Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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