YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
