Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
