Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize