garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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