I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
