she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
