I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
