"it" just moved
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
