Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
they need to just BURY HIM!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
