I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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