Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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