did you get engaged???
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
