Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
