so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
