Only a mothe r could love this liver
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
