You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
