I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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