i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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