dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
