Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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