So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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