i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
