he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize