She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How external is "for external use only"?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
