i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
