Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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