There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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