Christians are straight up FREAKS
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
