problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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