Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
