I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
