i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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