fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
