Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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