I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
