these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
