So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize