I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize