well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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