If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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