dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's always time for handjobs
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
