Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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