I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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