What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
