I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
