The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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