I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
