For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
