a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
