Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
