dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
only you would photoshop your dick
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
