I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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