Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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