There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
