ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
